So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
