i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
