I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
