That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
