Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize