But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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