these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
