I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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