Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
