well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
