The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
