i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize