Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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