You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
