she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
