...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
