If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
