Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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