remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
