and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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