what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
