How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize