That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
