I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
