So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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