Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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