Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
