I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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