Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
