doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize