Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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