Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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