Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
