9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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