I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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