My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
