I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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