you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
