yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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