I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
