Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
