I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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