sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
