There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
