I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Bring me that man meat
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
that is very illegal...i love you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
