I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
