It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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