rhymes with "ouble enetration"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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