it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
