Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
