I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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