yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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