I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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