it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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