i'm signing you up for texting rehab
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
