you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm really busy with my period
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize