Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
