she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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